Hold On
by Vegeta Goddess
Summary: Vegeta and Bulma have been together now for years, but can Vegeta learn to love and trust Bulma? After all she cheated on Yamcha with him...how does he know she won't cheat on him too?


**Hold On**

By Vegeta Goddess

* * *

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or any of the lyrics used in this fic._

_A/N – Please remember that I am from Australia NOT the US. This means that I spell certain words differently – do not flame me complaining about my spelling, as I will not alter my spelling to the US style to suit people. This fic is dedicated to VGChaos, my friend and follower!_

Lyrics from: 'Hold On' by Limp Bizkit.

* * *

**You keep your distance**

**I can't deny you**

* * *

Bulma stared blankly at the empty space next to her in the bed. She could hear the distant hum of the gravity machine from outside and tears welled up in her clear blue eyes. Just once it would have been nice to wake up next to him.

Just once.

But that was too much to ask of her prince. He'd told her time and again that he wasn't going to be ruled by 'weak human emotions' as she was.

He was a warrior.

He was strong.

He didn't love her.

Yet even knowing all this, Bulma could never seem to deny Vegeta anything he asked of her. No matter how cold he was towards her she would always give in to him when he turned to her.

* * *

**I got the feeling**

**Can't satisfy you**

* * *

Why she gave into him again and again Bulma didn't know. It wasn't as if Vegeta hurt her or threatened to hurt her if she didn't comply with his wishes - there was just something about him that drew her to him, something in those endless ebony eyes that made her stay when her common sense told her to leave.

Vegeta needed somebody. Loath as he was to admit it, Bulma knew that he needed somebody to be there for him. Maybe he didn't know it yet, but one day he would.

One day he'd know how much he needed her.

Bulma got to her feet and winced; her body was aching slightly from the physical activity she had engaged in with Vegeta last night. She sighed as she saw the faint purple bruises on her waist and rib cage.

She hated being so weak, being so _fragile_.

She hated being the one who held Vegeta back from completely giving into his saiyan nature during sex. After all, she held him back from complete enjoyment - he'd often said so in his crueller moods.

* * *

**I got your picture on the wall**

**I got the picture long gone**

* * *

So why did he stay with her? Bulma pondered this as she padded gracefully into the bathroom, turned the taps on in the shower and stepped under the warm spray. She sighed gratefully as the warm spray hit her skin.

As she washed her body an image of Vegeta's face stealthily infiltrated her mind. He was so perfect. From his hair to his eyes and from his eyes to his gorgeous body he was the embodiment of perfection. Every muscle was toned to perfection and every inch of him glowed with health.

He was so perfect.

Bulma turned the water off and stepped from the shower. She took a soft white towel off the towel rack and began to dry herself off, as she did she summoned up another image of Vegeta, this time an image of Vegeta sleeping peacefully with his head nestled on her chest.

He was so beautiful when he slept. He lost that look of fierce stubbornness and looked purely peaceful. It was hard to believe when he slept that he had murdered millions upon millions of people in his lifetime.

Bulma wrapped the towel around herself and walked from the bathroom back into her bedroom to stare at the single picture of Vegeta that she had.

He looked happy in that picture; he was actually smiling for once. Vegeta hadn't looked like that in a long time. The days when he would loosen up a little and smile were long gone; lately Vegeta had only been cold and distant towards her.

Bulma looked back in the mirror and met her own troubled eyes as she debated telling Vegeta her secret.

* * *

**You keep your wishes**

**I'll keep my feelings**

* * *

Vegeta stepped out of the gravity machine and breathed in a lungful of the crisp morning air. He looked at the house in front of him and slowly began walking towards it. By now Bulma would be awake and, if he was lucky, might even have started cooking his breakfast.

He should tell her.

Vegeta shook his head at the absurdity of telling Bulma the truth. If she knew the truth she'd lose all respect for him. She's probably laugh. It was better that he kept his feelings to himself. Vegeta nodded to himself as he opened the side door and slipped into the house.

He sauntered into the kitchen and was met with the sight of the woman, _his woman_, setting plates of food down. She looked up briefly and smiled slightly, a crooked smile as though she couldn't quite decide what to say to him, then she looked away again and a uneasy silence descended upon them.

Bulma put the final plate down and stared at him nervously, backing away from the table to lean against the kitchen bench. She took a deep breath and met his eyes squarely. "Vegeta, I think there's something you should know…"

"Tell me later." Vegeta snapped, ignoring the crushed look in her eyes as he sat down to eat. When would the woman stop expecting more from him then he could give? He wasn't about to change his nature just to conform to her wishes.

No, he wouldn't tell her - not yet.

* * *

**There goes along the one**

**That kept me breathing**

* * *

"It's important." Bulma persisted, sitting down next to him and taking the fork out of his hand. "It's something that you need to hear." Her voice wavered and Vegeta looked into her face - for the first time registering the uncertainty and fear written there.

She was afraid of him?

"This is probably the last thing on earth you want to hear…but…I can't hide it from you anymore. You would have found out eventually anyway. It's not like I could hide it from you forever." Bulma nervous tugged on her hair and bit her lip, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke.

Next to her Vegeta had frozen. What was the woman trying to say? Had she been having an affair? Was she leaving him? Vegeta's breath caught in his throat and his hands clenched into fists as he struggled to contain his emotions.

She couldn't leave him, he wasn't sure he could go on without her. He'd come to depend on the woman, had come to…

No.

He wouldn't even think it.

* * *

**I'm waiting for you**

**I know you're leaving**

* * *

Bulma watched as Vegeta paled next to her. His hands curled into fists and she nervously took a deep breath. She could do this; she could tell him, she'd done it before after all. Back when she had still been with Yamcha she'd given him this same speech.

The same speech but different, she'd lied to Yamcha all those years ago. This time she wasn't going to lie to Vegeta. She'd been hiding the truth long enough.

This time she wasn't going to be deceptive.

This time she wasn't doing this because she didn't want to admit the truth.

This time she was doing it because it was the right thing to do.

"Well, what is it?" Vegeta had apparently collected himself, but there was still something to his posture that made he suspicious of his bland tone. "What do you have to tell me?" He prompted when she didn't continue to talk. Bulma noted the defensive tone in his voice and a sense of wonderment descended upon her.

Was Vegeta afraid of what she might be able to tell him?

* * *

**I still adore you**

**You never need me**

* * *

"Vegeta…I'm pregnant again." Bulma took a deep breath and lowered her gaze away from Vegeta, barely able to believe that she'd finally said it. She didn't want to see how he'd react. The last time she'd given this speech she'd told Yamcha that she was pregnant to him.

But she'd lied to him - she'd told him Trunks was Yamcha's son, and when she'd eventually admitted that she'd lied about Trunks parentage it had been one of the most devastating moments of her life.

Now she was afraid of what Vegeta might do to her. Mentally of course, he'd never hurt her physically. But mentally he had only to say the same things he'd said when she had told him that Trunks was his and she'd be devastated.

It wasn't like Vegeta needed her; it wasn't as if he couldn't find another woman to warm his bed with if he decided he didn't want to stay with her any longer. Or even worse - if he decided he didn't want her to have another child.

Bulma closed her eyes as perhaps the most painful though of all forced its way into her mind: Even if he left her she'd still adore him, still love him and do as he asked.

* * *

**Hold on**

**I've found another way to let you go away**

* * *

Bulma risked a quick glance at Vegeta's face, but she couldn't read any emotion there. He was merely staring straight ahead with a deliberately blank look.

"Is it mine?" He continued to keep his face blank and his eyes off her as he asked.

"Of course it is!" Bulma couldn't help but look hurt at his obvious distrust of her, but then maybe she disserved it. After all, she'd deceived them all when Trunks had been conceived.

It seemed like such a long time ago now. Yamcha had been cheating on her and she'd found out and had then cheated on him in turn with a very obliging Vegeta.

She hadn't expected to get pregnant with Trunks. Her relationship with Vegeta back then had been merely an agreement - nothing more. She hadn't cared for him and he hadn't cared for her. They had merely used each other for their own reasons. But then…then she'd become pregnant and had lied to everyone.

She'd broken her affair off with Vegeta and had told Yamcha it was his baby. She'd been pleasantly surprised when Yamcha had immediately asked her to marry him, but it hadn't lasted. Yamcha had cheated again and Bulma had, in her anger, shocked everyone by admitting who the father of her baby really was: Vegeta.

It was no wonder Vegeta no longer trusted her. Now he was probably going to do what he'd done last time.

Leave her.

* * *

**Hold on**

**You've found another way to bleed my soul away**

* * *

She was pregnant.

Vegeta watched silently as Bulma looked away, her eyes already shining with unshed tears. Could she really blame him for having to ask her if it was his? At least this time she had told the truth instead of lying as she'd done last time.

Vegeta ground his teeth at the memory.

It had been bad enough when Bulma had abruptly broken off their very pleasant affair and had told him she was pregnant to Yamcha, but it had been doubly bad when Bulma had admitted that he was the father _merely_ to hurt Yamcha.

It had hurt him to know that the woman didn't think he was fit to be a father and had thought the child would be better off if she pretended Yamcha was the father. He didn't know why it had hurt then and he _still_ didn't know why it had hurt. All he knew was that he'd been angrier then he'd ever been in his life once the hurt had faded.

She had almost undone him all those years ago. Somehow Vegeta had given her a weapon to use against him without even knowing it, and now she had that weapon out again.

Vegeta knew was that if this child turned out to be another man's he'd probably die just from the sheer knowledge that the woman he trusted had hurt him this way yet again.

* * *

**The things you told me**

**To hear you speak**

* * *

"I need to know how you feel about this Vegeta." Bulma spoke tensely and looked back to him, her emotions bared to him in those turbulent blue eyes. "I need to know how you feel about me."

"I don't know." Vegeta ground out. He tore his eyes away from her and stood up, half afraid that she'd trap him in her eyes forever. "I need to think." Vegeta took a step back from the table, his eyes wild.

"You know I love you Vegeta." Bulma snaked a hand out and caught his arm before he could walk away, her face desperate. "Don't go! Don't leave me all alone again."

Vegeta roughly pulled out of her grasp. "If I planned to leave you I'd have said so." He growled angrily, unfamiliar with the feelings her pleading voice had aroused in him. He abruptly turned around and stalked back out to the gravity machine. A defensive anger emanating form him as he turned it on and began training hard again in an attempt to block out his emotions.

Because he'd lied to Bulma of course.

Not about leaving, but about needing to think. The last thing he needed was to think, he wanted to clear his head. He wanted to drive the voice of the woman out of his head as it echoed in his mind. He didn't want to hear that anguished tone in her voice when she'd begged him not to leave her all alone again.

* * *

**I'm burning slowly**

**I'm growing weak**

* * *

Vegeta continued to train, sweat streaming off him in waves as fought his imaginary foes in a desperate bid to drive out the woman's voice. It was to no avail though; he couldn't rid himself of it.

She was in his system now; she was almost a part of him, and she was making him weak -so why didn't he leave her? Why couldn't he walk away before it was too late?

Vegeta stopped the gravity machine and walked back to the house, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He needed to hear the woman say she loved him again, needed her to hold him and reassure him. He paused by the door with his hand on the handle - how had he let the woman become such a large part in his life? How had he come to need her so much? When had he started craving her like a drug?

He opened the door and stepped softly inside, half expecting to hear sobbing from the bedroom as he usually did after one of their fights. But this time there was only silence. Vegeta walked into the kitchen and halted in his tracks when he saw the woman still seated at the table in the same position he'd left her in.

"Bulma?" He spoke her name softly as he sat beside her and captured her gaze with his.

"Vegeta?" The question in her voice had a deeper meaning and Vegeta let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding at the need in her voice.

She _needed _him too.

* * *

**You bring me closer to yesterday**

**Yesterday's a million miles away**

* * *

Bulma could only stare into Vegeta's obsidian eyes as he held her gaze, seemingly searching for something in her eyes.

"Did you think everything over?" Bulma mentally cringed at the fear in her voice and wished she were stronger. Vegeta wouldn't respect her weakness for him, he wouldn't appreciate that she feared and worshipped him more then anybody else ever would.

"I trust you Bulma; I want you to know that." Vegeta's voice was soft for once but he looked down as though he was ashamed of it. "When I asked if it was mine…could you blame me after last time?"

"The past is gone Vegeta. It's a million miles away from where we are now." Bulma scooted her chair a little closer to him, craving his nearness like a drug.

"I know, but I can't help but remember last time." Vegeta suddenly let out a harsh laugh. "And to think I mocked Yamcha for being weak when he became so torn up over your betrayal." He looked up at Bulma's face, not meeting her eyes - just studying her features. "The thought of you with another man…" Vegeta trailed off.

"It hurts you?" Bulma put her hand over his, not put off when he moved his hand away again.

* * *

**Why can't you hear me?**

**Why can't I see you?**

* * *

Vegeta didn't answer immediately. "The thought of you with another man and the knowledge that you cheated before when I _was_ the other man makes me doubt you." Vegeta watched the pain play across her face and cursed himself mentally. If only Bulma could understand how he felt without him actually having to say it out loud.

"You think I'd cheat on you?" A tear slipped down Bulma's face and her voice caught in her throat.

"No, I don't think you'd cheat on me." Vegeta ran a hand through his hair. "I've never trusted anyone in my life Bulma but I trust you, and I can't help but be he a little apprehensive." He looked away from Bulma and took a deep breath. "You have the power to hurt me Bulma and I don't want the person I trust to be the one who hurts me."

"I'd never hurt you, I love you too much." Bulma wiped her tears away with her hand. "Do you…love me?"

"I don't know. I've never loved anyone before." Vegeta ground his teeth. Why couldn't Bulma hear what he was trying to say?

* * *

**And I don't understand**

**What keeps me breathing?**

* * *

"You say you trust me?" Bulma stood up, moved beside Vegeta and drew him up until he stood next to her. Their eyes perfectly level.

"Yes." Vegeta nodded and tried not to appear too tense.

"Then trust me enough to tell me how you really feel about me." Bulma brushed a strand of her from her face.

Vegeta shook his head slowly. "First tell me - what do you feel for me?" He swallowed, waiting for the woman to demand he speak first.

She didn't.

"I love you…"

Vegeta interrupted her and shook his head impatiently. "No, what do you _feel _for me? How do I make you _feel_?"

"You make me feel every emotion there to feel." Bulma smiled wryly. "Sometimes you hurt me, sometimes you infuriate me but then in the next moment something you do will make me want to hold onto you for ever and ever." Bulma moved closer so that their bodies were touching. "I wake up sometimes, in the middle of the night, and I'll watch you sleep and when I watch you all I can feel is love." Bulma cupped the side of his face and traced his jaw line. "Without you I'm empty, I'm nothing." Bulma stared at him expectantly and Vegeta swallowed.

"When I'm with you I feel like a prince again." Vegeta kissed her hand. "And when I'm not with you I can't breath."

* * *

**I'm waiting for you**

**I know you're leaving**

* * *

"You can't breathe without me?" Bulma put a hand to her mouth in shock and swayed as though dizzy.

"I don't know how to say this but…I've been waiting for you my whole life and earlier when you said you had something to tell me I assumed the worst. I thought you were leaving me…and I couldn't breath." Vegeta lent forward and let Bulma take him into her arms.

She hugged Vegeta tightly, trying to wrap herself around him. "I never though you felt so strongly about me."

"I didn't want to believe it at first. I kept on telling myself it was just lust, that I was becoming attached to being in your bed." Vegeta shook his head; unable to believe he was finally admitting everything to her. "But I couldn't keep lying to myself. I knew that I was becoming attached to _you_. Not to you're body but to you, all of you."

"I thought you just lusted after me." Bulma whispered, still in shock. "I was so afraid of telling you that I was having your baby because I thought you'd leave me." She admitted quietly.

"I couldn't leave you." Vegeta kissed Bulma gently.

* * *

**I'll still adore you**

**You'll never need me**

* * *

Vegeta sighed as Bulma rested her head on his shoulder, content to simply be held by him as it was something Vegeta had rarely ever indulged in. He closed his eyes as he sought the spark of new life in Bulma but snapped open again quickly.

"You're almost five months pregnant!" Vegeta exclaimed in shock pushed Bulma away so he could stare at her stomach.

"I know. I kind of put off telling you for a while." Bulma admitted and watched in amusement as Vegeta got down on his knees and put his ear up against her stomach.

"How did I miss this?" He asked, looking up at her from his position on the ground.

"You were too busy training." Bulma bit her lip and then added; "As usual."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "I was too busy convincing myself that I didn't need you, fortunately it didn't work." He put his head back against her stomach and smiled. "She's going to be very strong willed."

"She?" Bulma began to smile. "Our baby is a she?"

Vegeta nodded. "And she's probably going to be just as adorable as you."

* * *

**Hold on**

**I've found another way to let you go away**

* * *

"It's not going to be an easy road for me, or for you I imagine." Vegeta stood up again and dusted himself off. "I'm never going to be a chirpy loving husband towards you like Kakarot is to Chichi. Neither will I be as devoted to my children as Krillen is with his daughter." Vegeta looked into Bulma's cornflower blue eyes and felt himself smirk. "But I'll try my best to be as good a husband and father as a saiyan can be."

"I have a feeling you're going to be a great father and a great husband in your own way." Bulma giggled suddenly and bit her lip. "I don't think I'd love you as much as I do if you were any other way. You're my prince and I like it that way." She smiled flirtatiously up at him through her eyelashes.

Vegeta looked at Bulma's jubilant expression and felt his smirk melt off his face. "This isn't going to be a fun ride for us you know. I don't really know what love is. Maybe what I feel for you isn't love and maybe it is. All I can promise you is that I'm going to try to love you." He spoke honestly and offered her a faltering smile.

"And I'm never going to let you go away ever again." Bulma leant forward and kissed Vegeta.

They stared at each other for an eternity before Vegeta turned away. "I'll be training."

Bulma watched him go with her head tilted her head to the side and smiled slightly when she heard the gravity machine start up.

She knew Vegeta wouldn't change over night, but maybe tomorrow she would wake up next to him for once.

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

**Hold on**

**You've found another way to bleed my soul away**

* * *

**The End**

A/N - You like? You hate? Questions & Comments always welcome!


End file.
